Being without thoughts, a new way of being
old approach
At this moment (Mvmacke (talk) 08:58, 3 June 2026 (CEST)) I am investigating to control my attention NOT to go to my thoughts. In the past, when I was meditating, I contstantly used the following technique:
- go to silence
- when wandering off to thoughts
- become aware that I am now in my thoughts
- go back to silence
reaction on old approach
This approach created kind of a battle. Thoughts are not allowed. It is not good when I am thinking. May be I did the procedure above very gently, but still there was this condemming of directing my attention to thoughts. Being silent is good, thinking is not good. Also there is belief involved in this. Silence is good because Buddha says so. When we are good, we are in silence. We are not good when we are anxious, busy, thinking. I strongly believe (...) that belief is something I should avoid. Experiencing, learning from what is there, not believing this and this. A belief is just a thought.
new approach
So I am busy now with this new approach. At the core lies: "why does my attention go to thinking?". If I want to investigate silence, why does my attention do something else? Now of course when there is a lot of turmoil, I understand, it is hard not to go to my thoughts (and feelings). But when there is no necessity, when there is time, why no stay with my attention towards silence? So this is, how I talk to myself. I ask my attention why it went to these thoughts? I invite my attention to direct itself to go to silence. So not scanning my body, not towards breathing but simply listening to nothing. And often I succeed. My attention listens to silence. Immediately I notice that my muscles relax. If I am sleeepy, I fall asleep. If I am not sleepy, I feel fulfilled with this wonderful silence. Don't ask me why. I just like silence.
reaction to new approach
the nice part about this new approach is that it gives me the option for a new way of being. Normally I am busy with thoughts. I am right now when writing. I always am, wether asleep or awake, I am always thinking. This listening to silence gives me a whole new way of being. For me it feels that I am passing through this invisible curtain and I enter a whole new world. That is not as exciting as it sounds but it is kind of cool. Yes, I get these fantasies that when listening to silence all kind of beautiful things will happen to me. God can enter, the universe can show me my path, I will get a clear vision on everything, including on who I am and what I should do. Very likely this is all a lot of BS and I should simply continue listening to silence. My being is a wonderful laboratory where I can investigate, explore, find out. This is it for now.
further reading
According to ChatGPT: "Based on what you wrote, I would not recommend books that emphasize concentration as a struggle against thought. Your reflections sound much closer to inquiry, curiosity, and non-conflict with experience.
A few books come to mind:
1. The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts
This may be the closest match.
Watts repeatedly questions the tendency to divide experience into "good" and "bad," "spiritual" and "unspiritual," "thinking" and "not thinking." He argues that much suffering comes from trying to force ourselves into an ideal state.
What struck me when reading your "old approach" was exactly this: the subtle creation of a controller who tries to suppress thought. Watts would likely ask whether that controller is itself just another thought.
2. The Book of Not Knowing by Peter Ralston
This is a more radical recommendation.
Ralston is relentless about questioning beliefs and assumptions. You wrote:
"A belief is just a thought."
That could almost be a theme from this book.
Rather than accepting what Buddha, science, philosophy, or anyone else says, Ralston encourages direct investigation of experience itself. Your description of your being as "a wonderful laboratory" feels very much in this spirit.
3. Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn
If you want a gentle meditation book that doesn't turn meditation into a battle, this is excellent.
Kabat-Zinn treats thoughts as events that arise naturally, not enemies. The emphasis is on noticing rather than controlling.
4. I Am That by Nisargadatta Maharaj
This is more challenging and mystical.
Many dialogues revolve around a question similar to yours:
What is aware of thought?
Not how to stop thought, but what remains when attention is not captured by it.
Your description of "listening to silence" reminds me of passages in this book.
5. The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer
Singer focuses on recognizing thoughts without identifying with them.
The book is practical and accessible, and it explores what happens when you stop treating every thought as something that requires engagement.
One observation from your notes:
Your "new approach" sounds less like concentration and more like phenomenological investigation. Instead of saying:
"I should not think."
you are asking:
"What causes attention to become interested in thought?"
That is a fundamentally different question. It turns thought itself into an object of observation rather than an opponent.
For that reason, if I had to choose only one book from this list, I would start with The Book of Not Knowing if your primary interest is investigation and freedom from belief, or The Wisdom of Insecurity if your primary interest is relaxing the struggle and learning to trust direct experience.
The passage where you describe crossing an "invisible curtain" into a different mode of being is also reminiscent of writings by Jiddu Krishnamurti. If you haven't read him, his talks and books might resonate strongly with what you're exploring. He was deeply skeptical of authority, methods, and spiritual ideals, and repeatedly encouraged observing the movement of thought without condemnation."